The Nigerian girl and boy child undergoes a lot of challenges while growing owing to the fact that the society tends to turn their face away from the demeaning attitude of the perpetrators.This expose these kids to the dangers of Sex Abuse by parents,relatives,employers and others within the society.
Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, or a combination of
any or all of these. Abuse can also be neglect, which is when parents or
guardians don't take care of the basic needs of the children who depend
on them.These perpetrators device several means to get to their their victim ranging from material,monetary and oppression
Physical abuse is often the most easily recognized form
of abuse. Physical abuse can be any kind of striking,hitting, shaking, burning,
pinching, biting, choking, throwing, beating, and other actions that
cause physical injury, leave marks, or cause pain.
Emotional abuse can be the most difficult to identify
because there are usually no outward signs of the abuse. Emotional abuse
happens when yelling and anger go too far or when parents constantly
criticize, threaten, or dismiss kids or teens until their self-esteem
and feelings of self-worth are damaged. Emotional abuse can hurt and
cause damage just as physical abuse does leading to psychological trauma.
Sexual abuse is any type of sexual contact between an
adult and anyone younger than 18; between a significantly older child
and a younger child; or if one person overpowers another, regardless of
age.
Neglect is difficult to identify and define. Neglect
occurs when a child or teen doesn't have adequate food, housing,
clothes, medical care, or supervision. Emotional neglect happens when a
parent doesn't provide enough emotional support or deliberately and
consistently pays very little or no attention to a child. This doesn't
mean that a parent doesn't give a kid something he or she wants, like a
new computer or a cell phone, but refers to more basic needs like food,
shelter, and love.It could also be due to the leadership of the particular area that may have turned blind eye to the suffering of their people which most time due to the inability of parents to cater for their young ones may indulge in family violence which has adverse effect on the growing child.Family violence
can affect anyone. It can happen in any kind of family.
Sometimes parents abuse each other, which can be hard for a child to
witness. Some parents abuse their kids by using physical or verbal
cruelty as a way of discipline.
Abuse doesn't just happen in families, of course. Bullying is a form of
abusive behavior. Bullying someone through intimidation, threats, or
humiliation can be just as abusive as beating someone up. People who
bully others may have been abused themselves. This is also true of
people who abuse someone they're dating. But being abused is no excuse
for abusing someone else.
It can also take the form of hate crimes
directed at people just because of their race, religion, abilities,
gender, or sexual orientation.
Recognizing Abuse
It may sound strange, but people sometimes have trouble recognizing
that they are being abused. Recognizing abuse may be especially
difficult for someone who has lived with it for many years. A person
might think that it's just the way things are and that there's nothing
that can be done. People who are abused might mistakenly think that it's
their fault for not doing what their parents tell them, breaking rules,
or not living up to someone's expectations.Growing up in a family where there is violence or abuse can make a
person think that is the right way or the only way for family members to
treat each other. Somebody who has only known an abusive relationship
might mistakenly think that hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, or angry
name-calling are perfectly normal ways to treat someone when you're
mad.Seeing parents treat each other in abusive ways might lead a child to
think that's OK in relationships. But abuse is not a typical or healthy
way to treat people.If you're not sure you are being abused, or if you suspect a friend is, it's always OK to ask a trusted adult or friend.
Why Does Abuse Happen?
If you're one of the thousands of people living in an abusive
situation, it can help to understand why some people abuse — and to
realize that the abuse is not your fault. Sometimes abusers
manipulate those they're abusing by telling them they did something
wrong or "asked for it" in some way. But that's not true.
There is no single reason why people abuse others. But some factors
seem to make it more likely that someone may lose control, yell, hit, or
hurt.Sometimes, growing up in an abusive family can lead a person to think
that example is a good way to discipline others. Others become abusive
because they're not able to manage their feelings properly. For example,
someone who is unable to control anger or can't cope with stressful
personal situations (like the loss of a job or marriage problems) may
lash out at others inappropriately. Also, drinking too much and/or drug
use can make it difficult for some people to control their actions.
Certain types of personality disorders or mental illness might also
interfere with someone's ability to relate to others in healthy ways or
cause problems with aggression or self-control. Of course, not everyone
with a personality disorder or mental illness becomes abusive.Fortunately, people who abuse can get help and learn how to take responsibility for how they act — and learn ways to stop.
What Are the Effects of Abuse?
When people are abused, it can affect every aspect of their lives,
especially self-esteem. How much harm is done often depends on the
situation and sometimes on how severe the abuse is. Sometimes a
seemingly minor thing can trigger a big reaction. Being touched
inappropriately by a family member, or being told to keep secrets, for
example, can be very confusing and traumatic.
Every family has arguments. Friends, couples, coaches, and teachers
can get upset, frustrated, or have a bad day. We all go through
difficult times when someone is stressed and angry. Punishments and
discipline — like removing privileges, grounding, or being sent to your
room — are common.
Yelling and anger can happen in lots of parent-teen relationships and
in friendships — although it can feel pretty bad to have an argument
with a parent or friend. But if punishments, arguments, or yelling go
too far or last too long it can lead to stress and other serious
problems.
Teens who are abused (or have been in the past) often have trouble
sleeping, eating, and concentrating. They may not do well at school
because they are angry or frightened, or feel like they just don't care
anymore.
Many people who are abused distrust others. They may feel a lot of
anger toward other people and themselves, and it can be hard to make
friends. Abuse is a significant cause of depression in young people.
Some teens can only feel better by doing things that could hurt them
like cutting or abusing drugs or alcohol. They might even attempt
suicide.
It's common for those who have been abused to feel upset, angry, and
confused about what happened to them. They may feel guilty and
embarrassed and blame themselves. But abuse is never the fault of the
person who is being abused, no matter how much the abuser tries to blame
others.
Abusers may manipulate somebody into keeping quiet by saying stuff
like: "This is a secret between you and me," or "If you ever tell
anybody, I'll hurt you or your mom," or "You're going to get in trouble
if you tell. No one will believe you and you'll go to jail for lying."
This is the abuser's way of making a person feel like nothing can be
done so he or she won't report the abuse.
People who are abused might have trouble getting help because it
means they'd be reporting on someone they love — someone who may be
wonderful much of the time and awful to them only some of the time.
People might be afraid of the consequences of reporting abuse, either
because they fear the abuser or the family is financially dependent on
that person. For reasons like these, abuse often goes unreported and
many kids and teens don't tell anyone what is going on.
What Should Someone Who's Being Abused Do?
People who are being abused need to get help. Keeping the abuse a
secret doesn't protect anyone from being abused — it only makes it more
likely that the abuse will continue.
If you or anyone you know is being abused, talk to someone you or
your friend can trust — a family member, a trusted teacher, a doctor, or
a school or religious youth counselor. Many teachers and counselors
have training in how to recognize and report abuse.
Sometimes people who are being abused by someone in their own home
need to find a safe place to live temporarily. It is never easy to have
to leave home, but it's sometimes necessary to be protected from further
abuse. People who need to leave home to stay safe can find local
shelters listed in the phone book or they can contact an abuse helpline.
Sometimes a person can stay with a relative or friend.
People who are being abused often feel afraid, numb, or lonely.
Getting help and support is an important first step toward feeling
better.
Many teens who have experienced abuse find that painful emotions may
linger even after the abuse stops. Working with a therapist is one way
to sort through the complicated feelings and reactions that being abused
creates, and the process can help to rebuild feelings of safety,
confidence, and self-esteem.
References
D'Arcy Lyness, PhD Behavioral Health Editor, Kids Health Child and Adolescent Psychologist Wayne, PA
